Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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