So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
