is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
