Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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