Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
