no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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