Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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