she was so not down for the gang bang
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
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I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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