he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
