We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
