I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He better not be in your backpack
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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