she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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