I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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