Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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