I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
