Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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