OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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