I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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