Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
