Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
