If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
