i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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