Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got inside last night via doggy door
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
