The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
