my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
