no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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