Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There r osticjed everywhere
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
