I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
