Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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