seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
