So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
