I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
