Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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