Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
