that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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