Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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