When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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