community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
