Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
