he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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