if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
