i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
