its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
