she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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