my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
