So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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