i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
