Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
