that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
