I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
