I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
