they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
