in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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