Its about making memories worth repressing
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
