it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
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he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
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Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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