Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
