you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
