I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
