so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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